The Taj

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.” - Jawaharial Nehru

When I accepted this assignment and people heard I was coming to India, one of the first questions they asked me was "are you scared you're going to get diarrhea?"

The next question they asked was "are you going to see the Taj Mahal?"

The Taj Mahal is in Agra, which is about 210km from Delhi and about 800km from Bangalore, where I am living and working. That meant I would have to fly into Delhi then be driven to Agra.

Going to the Taj Mahal while in India is almost like a pilgrimage. You simply have to do it. It'd be like going to Paris and not bothering to see the Eiffel Tower, or going to Rome and missing the Coliseum.

So I finally found some time in my schedule, contacted a family friend's referral to set up a guide, and bought my tickets that would send me through Delhi on my way back from Nepal.

It's been a pretty tiring week, a lot of long car rides and a cold to top it off, but the Taj Mahal is absolutely worth it.

The main gate

Walking through the main gate

It's pretty spectacular isn't it? 

The "Baby Taj"

A short distance away from the Taj Mahal is another tomb which has been affectionately labeled the "Baby Taj".

It is the Tomb of Itimad-Ud-Daulah. It predates the Taj Mahal by only 3 years and is much smaller in scale but equally beautiful in terms of it's design and craftsmanship.

Driving in India - The fog edition

After 3 days in Nepal, it was time to cross back into India for the last time before I depart in 2 weeks but this time, I was making a detour to Delhi. The plan was to make a whirlwind trip to northern India for 3 days. I landed in Delhi, which has a GORGEOUS new airport, got picked up by my new driver Suresh, and was taken to the Crowne Plaza for a short stay before heading off early (again) to Agra, 210kms away.

I got a great night's sleep despite my cold, thank you Alka Seltzer and we were off by 7:30.

I'm going to go straight onto the record and say that I like northern India way better than Bangalore. I'm not going to bring Kerala into this because I have a wonderful time there.

The reason is there is a 2 year old freeway from Delhi to Agra and it's incredible. Plus at 7:30am, it looks like this.

But do you see that haze? I wasn't sure if it was fog or smog. I soon got my answer.

That is visibility of about 50 feet. I've never in my life encountered fog like this. It was pretty terrifying. Apparently, there was a 100+ car accident last week on this same stretch of road due to fog.

What's funny about this picture is there is a toll booth somewhere within 30 meters of us. You might also make out the man crossing the road on the left. We passed the "TOLL CROSSING - 50 METERS" sign and neither of us could see where the toll booth was. After another few seconds, it finally came into view. We hit the speed bump before we saw the toll booth. Unbelievable.

Everest or bust

One of the reasons I made the decision to visit Nepal is obviously the Himalayas. 3 of the tallest mountains in the world are located in Pokhara and the tallest (above water) mountain in the world is Mount Everest. I very badly wanted to see some of these peaks. The first stop was the town of Nagarkot, which is 7200 feet above sea level. It's a town above the clouds. I woke up early to watch the sunrise then we got back into the car for the 7 hour drive to Pokhara.

When we arrived at around 4pm, the fog had already engulfed the Annapurna range of the Himalayas so I was unable to see what all the hype was about. That was shortlived however since the next morning I woke up early again (uggg) to drive to the top of a nearby mountain to watch the sun rise over the Himalayas and what a sight it was.

I totally lucked out as well since the day I arrived in Pokhara and the day I left, it was completely overcast. The 1 day I was there fully, it was gorgeous.

After this wonderful spectacle, I went back to my hotel, opened the drapes, and this is what was waiting for me. Not a bad view eh?

If I wanted, I could even go paragliding for a better look. I declined once I saw one crash. True story. Person plummeted into Phewa lake in a tail spin. I was told it was a "practice crash" but I seriously doubt that.

But I still wanted to see Everest. The tallest of them all. Over 29,000 feet above sea level. commercial airlines fly at 30,000 feet. They have a tourist flight in Nepal called the "Everest Express" and for $189 USD, an airline will take you up and fly you around Everest. Despite Nepal's sketchy aviation record the last 13 years (11 crashes, 188 dead, the most recent last Sunday that killed 18), I was going to risk it.

I woke up early again the next morning (no wonder I'm sick) and got driven to the airport. I arrived at 5:45 for a 6:45 flight but the weather was pretty cloudy. Was not looking good. I waited at the airport and waited. Finally at 9am, they cancelled all flights to the mountain. Oh well, I guess I'd just have to tell people I wanted to see Everest. But then I remembered that my first morning in Nagarkot, I was told that if I turned to the North and looked into the distance, I would see this.

That, my friends, is Mount Everest.

Nepalese Massage…. orrrr what the rest of the world would call sexual assault.

WARNING: This post contains adult themes. Reader discretion is advised .

After a few consecutive days of waking up early (3:30am, 5:30am, and today at 4:30am in case you want to keep score), it was nice to have the afternoon to myself.

The morning was quite spectacular with a sunrise viewing over the Himalayas, followed by some cave temples, waterfalls, Nepal’s largest lake, an island temple, and a paraglider crash (witnessed it). Despite doing all this including buying my guide an ice cream, I was back in my hotel by 11:47am.

BTW, if you ever come to Nepal, forget Kathmandu. There’s nothing there. Go to Nagarkot or Pokhara. Pokhara is a 6 hour drive from Kathmandu, but it’s worth it. Pokhara is what I imagine when I think of Nepal. Breathtaking scenery, lovely people, and more cows in the road than cars. Though an incredible number of school kids. Kathmandu is basically India, but dirtier, poorer, and more polluted… which I didn’t think was actually possible but the begging kids are ridiculously cute. Cute as in their looks, not the fact that they are kids begging.

Anyway, there is a spa onsite which I pass to and from my room so I decided to stop by to see what they had to offer. First of all, I’m not a massage guy. If I could find a chiropractor here, I’d take that over a massage in a heartbeat. I’ve only had 1 other real massage. But I looked at the list and they had a 60 minute “Neck and Shoulder” massage for 2500 rupees, or $25 USD (exchange rate is easy here, just take off 2 zeros). So I signed up for a neck and shoulder massage at 3pm. NOTE: I said NECK AND SHOULDER MASSAGE and went back to my room to take a nap.

3pm comes and I show up at the spa feeling a little out of place. It’s all beautifully decorated, candles, incense, all that shabazz and I’m in a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops. Here’s when things go crazy.

A very pretty Nepalese girl (BTW #2, there are some VERY good looking Nepalese girls working at this hotel. Another one served me breakfast) takes me into the massage room and says something I can’t understand. So I say “I’m sorry?” and she’s looking me up and down and says “OK (and makes the OK with her hand), you’re handsome.” I smile and say “you’re kind. Thank you” and proceed to tell her that I’m there for the NECK AND SHOULDER MASSAGE. She gestures for me to remove my shirt. Still looking me up and down. Thankfully, I’m not shy so I do. Then she tugs on my shorts and says “these too”. Still staring at me. I’m wearing boxers so ok, no big deal. Then she nods at my boxers. Now I’m getting a little uncomfortable so I nod at the door. Only then does she leave the room so I can get fully undressed and get onto the massage table.

I hop up onto the table just as she’s coming back in (time she was out of the room, about 8 seconds) and she says “Yes. VERY handsome”. Mind you, I didn’t have time to pull the sheet up to cover up so I’m lying face down completely naked. She’s already seen everything and if I make a move for the sheet, she’d get the full monty. Oh well, what am I going to do? So I just lie there. She walks over and pulls the sheet up to my waist and says “you ready?” and I nod.

Pop quiz to see if you’re paying attention: What massage did I sign up for? 

NECK AND SHOULDERS? I thought so too.

The first thing she does is walk around behind me where my legs are together and separates them. I’m still trying to figure this out. But then she massages my feet, ankles, and calves. Ok. Was worried for nothing. It’s not what I signed up for but so be it. She only does it though for about 30 seconds before she gets onto the table and straddles me. Then pulls the sheet down far enough that I’m sure I’m completely exposed again. I hope you readers are laughing at this because I still am debating notifying the authorities (not really). But she was only getting started.

Pop quiz #2: Where are neck and shoulders located on your body? By your head right? (insert inappropriate joke here)

She starts with putting oil on my back and butt and getting a good massage going on those areas. A few times getting a little personal if you know what I mean. 20 minutes later and she hasn’t even touched my neck but my butt is as relaxed as can be. Then she moved onto my arms, hips, sides, barely touching my head, neck, and shoulders. Probably 30 minutes of 60 done. She hasn’t said much other than asking if the pressure was ok and saying “you’re very tight”. You’ve come centimeters close to violating me a few times. That probably explains it.

Then she asks me to flip over onto my back. Durrrr…So I asked to clarify. “Flip over?” “Yes”.

Yowza. What now?

So I flip over trying to keep covered but mostly failing (she’s seen everything anyway so why bother) and she says “you go to gym?” and I say “I used to. I’m fat now” and she says “no, you’re VERY handsome”. Oh boy.

She puts my arms in a 90 degree angle. Think like a hanging marionette. It’s also a good stretch when opening up your breastbone and chest. Then she puts oil on my chest and starts massaging my chest. Each time getting lower and lower until she was eventually massaging my stomach and past my hipbones. Mind you she’s doing this from standing above my head so her breasts are pretty much resting on my face.

Time spent massaging my NECK AND SHOULDERS – Not long enough to remember.

Time spent massaging awfully close to my privates – Most of it.

Just when I thought she might cross the inappropriate threshold (Am I in Redwood City?) she stops, pulls the sheet back up to my neck, (it was down past my hip bones), does this judo chop thing on my forehead (probably to remove the impressions of her breasts) and says “all done!”

Thinking back, she did eventually massage my neck (not for very long though) and even massaged my forehead, ears, nose, and double chin (I warned her I was fat).

While this might sound pretty shocking (or not) to most people, the truly hilarious thing is not the first time this has happened to me. The same thing happened when I got my first massage in Las Vegas but in that case, she got even closer and kept commenting on how “powerful” my upper body was (that was a long time ago) and telling me about how great her daughter was and how she just needed to meet a “nice guy”. Oy!

That experience reminded me of 2 things. The “Friends” episode where Joey goes to his tailor and gets “cupped”.

Joey - “Isn’t that normal?

The rest of the “Friends” - “NOOOOO”

And the Seinfeld episode where George thinks “it might have moved” when he got a massage and the masseuse got close to his privates.

Neither of these things happened to me but now I’m wondering are ALL massages like this and I’ve just been missing out or do I just get really pervy masseuses?

Next stop... Kathmandu!

LinkedIn Bangalore

This is the Etamin Building of the Prestige Technology Park on Outer Ring Road. The home of LinkedIn Bangalore. We occupy the entire 8th floor and soon half of the 9th floor. There is enough desk space for approximately 750 people. The building is actually huge. I had to use the panorama feature on my iPhone to take this picture since it didn't fit in the normal viewfinder.

We share the building with these companies. 

When you exit onto the 8th floor, you are greeted by these automatic sliding glass doors. You will notice the hands on each door so they open and close with the hands coming together in a prayer gesture. Or the "Namaste" greeting gesture.

This is the main entrance. It's not quite as moving as the blue doors in Mountain View. 

Bangalore doesn't have the cafeteria that Mountain View does, but it's still very spacious, bright, and welcoming.

Since many Indians eat with their hands, there is also a washroom right off of the cafeteria with 8 basins.

 We've got the standard tech industry game room. 

And a fresh juice bar that's open from 10:30-4:30. 

There is an overabundance of conference rooms. 42 in fact. 

Plus 4 micro kitchens

And 4 spectacular terraces

A beautiful IT Helpdesk

Plenty of casual seating

 Hallways as long as the eye can see.

And even Hooters

Lastly, we have here what we no longer have in Mountain View... ICE CREAM.

One of my favorite things too...

C.R.E.A.M

This is my shout out to the Wu-Tang Clan who back in 1993 proclaimed "CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME".

I love foreign money. I always try to keep some from my travels. Whether it's 1 bill or 1 coin or a whole slew of bills coins.

US Dollars, while basically the international benchmark for determining value, is pretty boring. It's all the same size and color. Though the newer bills are getting some newer features that make it more interesting.

The cash here in India and in Sri Lanka is quite stunning to look at. Especially the Sri Lankan Rupee.

Sri Lankan Rupee

Indian Rupee

Size comparison. I have to fold the 1000 Indian Rupee into thirds to fit it into my wallet. 

I also have no less than five different 5 Indian Rupee coins along with a 5 rupee note. Talk about confusing. These are my favorite though. Every time I see the 1 rupee coin, I want to say "Thumbs up!"