Sunday, March 2, 2014

Chan vs. The Street Hawker (I refuse to call him a vendor or merchant)

As I've stated before, I respect everyone's desire to make a living for one's self. Whether it be through a 9 to 5 or via other more nefarious means. 

One thing I will not tolerate however, is doing so through intimidation, bullying, rudeness or just generally being an asshole. Then, you are likely to invoke the full scope of my wrath and/or my intellectual wit. In either case, you likely don't stand a chance. 

Take for example what happened yesterday. 

Before making the long drive from Jaipur back to Delhi to catch my evening flight to Bangalore, I had just enough time to make a quick visit to the Amber Fort. A spectacular 16th Century palace/fort in Jaipur. The big tourist draw is you get to ride into the fort on the back of an elephant. For this, you of course need to stand in line. 

This line consists of 100% tourists which means the street hawkers are out in plenty. Try to sell everything from umbrellas to protect from the sun to postcards, books, wood carvings, and silver jewelry. Since you're standing in line, they also have the luxury of hounding you the entire time. I suspect their main tactic is to annoy you so much you buy just so they leave you alone. 

Not gonna happen on my watch. 

I got into line with a group of Japanese tourists in front of me and a group of Italian tourists behind me. 

First hawker: 
Him: "Konichiwa. You want to buy?"
Me: "Not Japanese."
Him: "No?"
Me: "Nope. American". 
Him: [no answer and leaves]

Second hawker: 
Him: [holds up a baby shirt that says "India"] "Only 20 rupees"
Me: "I think that's a little small for me." 
Him: "For your child."
Me: "No children"
Him [no answer and leaves]

Third hawker AKA victim #1: [Ignores me and goes for the Italian family behind me. Hounding them constantly for 15 minutes. Finally I intervene]
Me: "They don't want to buy"
Him: "They do"
Me: [asking them] "Do you want to buy these?" [it was silver bracelets]
Them: "Noooooo"
Me: [to him] "See? Leave them alone." [I can see people filming this. Maybe it'll go viral on Youtube]
Him: "Not talking to you. you [points to Japanese people in front of me], them, Korean, Chinese, you poor people. I very successful" [big mistake]
Me: "First of all, I'm American which means I seriously doubt you make more than I do. I'm visiting your country. Have you been to the US? You might be right. I might be poor, but I'm not the one trying to sell shit to tourists on the steps of a tourist attraction" [Italian family laughs]
Him: "It's not shit"
Me: "it is shit. You're asking for 20 rupees. That's a dollar US"
Him: [Getting visibly angry] "She will buy"
Me: "She's standing right here. Do you think she's going to buy from you now knowing that you're trying to intimidate her? You need to go back to business school" [by now half the line is watching and laughing]
Him: "You watch. She will buy"
Me: [looks at my watch (fitbit)] "We got all day. It's lovely out. Feel free to keep wasting your breath. Just try not to spoil our view with your shit" [woman's daughters are turning pink trying to stifle their laughing]
Him: [Gives me the stinkeye of death and leaves]
Them: [to me] Thank you so much! 

If he would have just accepted the no and moved on, I would have left him alone along with the other 10 that I declined. But once he pushed it, no way he was going to get away unscathed. 

So my RAK yesterday was humiliating another human being. Does that actually count as a RAK or is it a push?



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