I'm first going to mention that everyone was extraordinarily nice. The guide was great, I met a guy from HP and another from SAP. I saw some pretty cool things and I also saw a side of Bangalore that I'm sure isn't on the tourism website.
First things first. The saying no matter how you look at it, still applies. "You get what you pay for". 4 digit dinner at The French Laundry. Yup, pretty fantastic. $6.25 city tour of a city in a third world country? Not so much.
The website advertises air conditioned buses. Yes, I'm sure the bus had air conditioning when it was new....30 years ago. At least it had sliding windows....that were broken. I drank my 2 liters of water I brought with me within the first 3 hours. Unfortunately, it was a 13 hour tour. A 13 hour tour (that's in my best Gilligan's Island theme song voice). I'm pretty sure I sweated off at least 5 pounds. I seriously considered calling the hotel to pick me up and going back to sleep. I just did not want to get back onto that bus. I was also the only non-Indian which was fine. A few spoke English including the guide. English apparently is the "world's language" as he called it.
We visited 3 temples, 1 was pretty amazing, the zoo/safari park, the national gallery, and the planetarium. Definitely not places I think of when I want a tour of a city. The royal palace? Nope. Botanical gardens? Not this time. Dammit this was going to be a long ass day.
I wore a skirt today.
The first temple we visited, no shorts were allowed (that was not on the tour description) so I had to put on a sari like thing. Pared with my LinkedIn purple squirrel hoodie and bare feet (also required) and I looked studly. BUT, I got to witness a real temple ceremony. The dancing, the singing, it was pretty incredible. Sadly, no cameras were allowed. You actually have to go through a metal detector going in and check your shoes and cameras at the door.
The next 2 temples I didn't bother to go in since I didn't want to take my shoes off again. Then we left for a 45 minute drive out to a 130,000 acre wild animal park/zoo. It's the largest in South India. I'll post pictures shortly. Everyone knows I love animals so this was the highlight of the day. Along with the lowlight.
I bought my ticket for the safari portion and was immediately ushered to the front of the line. Then I was given the front passenger seat in the van. The van held 30 people so I accepted the front seat knowing it was going to cost me in a tip. After the safari the guide says to me. "you like?" "give tip?" I said yes and thanked him for letting me cut the line and giving me probably the best seat in the van. So I give him 500 rupees and he looks at it and says "give me one more." I say no. Then he says "Your glasses, how much do they cost?" I say $200 US. He says "I like them. I want them." By then I'm starting to get pissed. This guy has got some fucking balls on him to ask for more money and now for my sunglasses. I tell him "12,000 rupees". He says "I'm just kidding..."
followed by 10 seconds later "can I have them?" I say no and exit the van.
Then he follows me back to the gate and says "give me 1 US dollar. I collect dollars from all over." I say no. He says "just 1 dollar." So I say "ok, give me back the 500 rupees I gave you and I'll give you a dollar." He smiles and says "okkkkk" and I have the dollar firmly in my hand and I'm pointing to his shirt pocket where I know he has the 500 rupee note but he's not making a move to take it out. I say "give me the 500 rupees first". Again he smiles and says "okkk" without making any move to take it out of his pocket. So I fold up the dollar and put it back into my wallet and he grabs my arm and says "just give me 1 dollar. It's only 1 dollar." I pull my arm away and tell him again VERY sternly. I'm also about 5 inches taller than he is and probably 50 pounds more. "GIVE ME THE 500 RUPEES I JUST GAVE YOU AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE DOLLAR." At this point he can see I'm super fucking pissed off so he backs up and says "thank you thank you" and leaves. By then I'm was at wits end and rethinking the whole tip thing I was struggling with only one day before. I almost gave the dollar to a beggar who was trying also to get the dollar just because. Instead I went back to the van and sat in the sweatbox for 45 minutes alone waiting for the rest of the group to return also calling the hotel to schedule my pick up.
The next leg of the tour was a 45 minute drive back to the city which allowed me to cool off (figuratively, not literally since we were still in the oven bus). Then we stopped for a quick lunch at a roadside restaurant. I can report no upset stomach here folks! Though I was dying to drink the visibly cold water they served but didn't dare do it. Next came the national gallery, which I didn't enter since Indian's paid 10 rupees and non-Indian's had to pay 150 rupees. So I sat on a bench on the grounds just enjoying the relatively cool, still stinky polluted air. The guide came over to join me so he asked where I was staying, how long, etc. I told him where I was staying and he said, "call them and tell them to pick you up at 5:15 from the planetarium. it's very close to Indiranagar." So I did exactly that. The tour was supposed to end at 8 about half an hour from my hotel. Now, I'd be getting picked up 2 hours and 45 minutes earlier. The traffic would be worse at 5:15 so it still took 30 minutes to get back but it meant I could relax for the rest of the evening. The first thing I did when I got back was drank a full liter of water in 1 go. Then another half a liter.
When I get home to the US, I'm just going to get a cup of ice and watch it melt.
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